is the game over??

Hello loves! i bet you're wondering what happened after 40 days and 40 nights, huh? Well, i gave him up..but not just for 40/40..but for good (HUGE gulp...with an added sigh following) Yep, u read correctly, your eyes aren't decieving you...My Mr. Wonderful is gone. That strength i asked God for about 2 bloggs ago, well it was granted. Geeeez, i guess the big guy up there really does listen to me. in that case, God? Hey God? ummmm, can u send Mr. Wonderful to me with open arms say tomorrow about noonish, lol..yea, if it were only that easy right? So back to that strength i got to finally let my feelings of love go.. booooooo for meeeee. Ugh, i can't even begin to tell u how hard it's been these past few weeks. I cried! yea, u got it, i actually cry every other day, and im not ashamed to tell u that i do. i am however ashamed to admit that i purposely listen to songs that i know are going to make me sad...it's the dramatic side of me, what can i say. The thing is just because i let him go physically, means absolutely nothing. He lives in my heart and in my head every day. So sure i have no physical contact (which kills, believe me...batteries are running low), but not having emotional contact is the part that makes me saddest. Honestly, it would be easier to just keep seeing him and then move on when i move away one day. This is hard, and i wonder if im the only one that fell here..i wonder what he thinks, and feels. But i might never get a straight answer. And that's just something i need to accept. I knew the rules before i played the game. I knew what the outcome would be. What i didnt know is that i would fall this hard. So, is this it? Is the game over? Or is it just halftime?? All i know is the ball is no longer in my court..i shot, made my free thro in and passed it along to him. Time to stand on the sidelines and cheer