the incredilbe HULK -ette

Heyyyyyy!!!! How is everyone? You don't have to answer "good" if you aren't really feeling good. Im sure when someone asks you "how are you?" the reply is always "good....and you?" I find myself being very honest these days. You all know this year has been about ME! and i love every minute of it, lol. Selfish? do you think it's selfish to love yourself above anyone? Do you think other will think you are being cocky, or stuck up? Well it's NOT wrong to be a little selfish. Most women (especially moms) don't know how to be selfish. They exhaust themselves by putting every ones needs before theirs leaving no room for themselves at the end of the day. This eventually leads to problems in a marriage, arguments with friends or children, problems at the workplace...and so on. More women need to realize if they are not truly happy and "good" with themselves then they will not be able to make others happy around them. They will live exhausted, sad, frustrated lives. Focus on yourself and only yourself in order to fill the life around you with joy ;)
so how am i today? well, i thought u'd never ask, lol...I am NOT fine, I'm crabby,i would probably fight someone and all they would have to do is look at me the wrong way, and kinda feel like i can snap the drop of a pin, cry and the snap of a finger, and laugh it all off 5 minutes later...sounds crazy, i know. I have actually thought about it over and over before i just typed that to see if it even makes sense! I mean seriously you guys, what is my problem?? OH i know, I'm going to go ahead and blame it all on my hormones!! ugh, we as women have to go through torture and become someone else right around that "time of the month". Geez,it really baffles me how i can become someone else and almost have no control of it at the moment..am i right? please tell me this happens to some of you as well!?!? I mean, i should really just be locked up for the next 3 days , so i don't make irrational decisions, run someone over with my car, eat everything in sight, and cry for no reason. It's not fair that we have to battle these feelings once a month for the next, oh, i dunno, 75 years!? ok so maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration. But you know as well as i do that you feel like you will be having a period for the rest of your life. So does this mean that once a month i will turn into the Incredible HULK-ette? haha! (i have to make myself sound as cute as i can be while turning into a green monster). The thing is you guys..i am VERY aware of my actions, and so i have a new plan...I am going to change things around. My experiment is to fight back with my hormones. Yep, im going to beat my hormones at their own game. its mind over matter in the end of things. Because there is no way i will let myself turn into a Green Giant, all because i cant get a grip on myself. i am tough, smart, happy and love life. so there is no reason that my hormones should get the best of me and mess with my mind like that. i mean, it seriously is unlike me to want to harm someone and overreact, and get all emotional for no reason. so who's with me ladies? Don't let your mind or emotions control you. Sit back and take a breather, realize what you are saying and doing at all times. Don't act a fool and don't become the HULK-ette,because it can get you in trouble :) so let me try this again...How am i doing yo ask? well now that i know i am not crazy,and have complete control of my thoughts and actions, im gonna be ok i think..as long as these next 2 days pass quickly, ha!

good night ya'll....im off to bed before i start contemplating bad thoughts about people that pissed me off today...yikes, did i just say that!? haha, Go to bed Kas ;) tomorrow i will wake up refreshed and ready for another adventure in Kashiland

Somethins' gotta give....

I'm baaaacccckkkk!! hahaha.. What's good everybody?!?! How are ya'll doin these days? It's been a fantastic summer and it's a bummer that in a month we will be welcoming fall. Can you believe how the time passes us by? I mean i watch people in my chair get older (not to mention greyer, lol..thank God or i'd be out of a job) and my niece and nephew grow into amazing little beings; but to be honest i don't feel like i age. I am going to be 29 years old in 4 months and i don't feel a day over 25. If anything this year should have really aged me but it made me feel younger then ever. It has been the BEST and HARDEST year at the exact same time. I couldn't be happier with the outcome of that. I have accomplished more this year so far then i ever have, i have learned more about myself and LOVE who i am, I am proud to say that i can do anything if i put my mind to it.

So since i last blogged i guess i need to fill ya in on my busy little life. Well, i came back from Minnesota in June from a real live Princess Party limping because i strained my hip flexor muscle the week before running and my fastest speed yet! I out ran my girlfriend and workout partner in crime Amanda on out 1 mile treadmill run by more then min easily. Therefore resulting in a hip injury for the next two months that got so bad i actually cried getting out of bed in the mornings. Did that stop me from my daily routine you ask? HA! hell no! i was at work for my usual 10-12 hour days and at the gym doing everything but running (barely even walking at times, yikes!) My 2month slow recovery of stretches and painful massages finally got me to to my first attempt at running 2 days ago. I can't begin to tell you the mental torture i was going through because of my injury resulting in me not being able to run and clear my head. So as if that wasn't enough i manages to get a 2nd degree freezer burn on my left shin which got infected because i was too stubborn and busy to go see a doctor. Yep, you heard that correctly, i froze my leg with an ice pack. I mean really, who the hell manages to do somethin like that?!? Yours truly ;) so after being on 12 days of antibiotics and dealing with a scar the size of Texas (there goes my modeling career, LOL) i sprained my ankle from falling in my wedge shoes and am now dealing with that. I really don't understand how i got so prone to injuries all of a sudden, but they ARE all self inflicted so i can't blame anyone but me. Geez!! i exhaust myself sometimes!!

I have to tell you that i had the BEST 4th of July EVER! My sister, the kids and Ryan a.k.a "swam" spent 3 nights at my house and we had a blast. It was the first time my house felt like a home ;) I have told ya before and i will forever say it again. My sister is the best sister i could have been blessed with. I loved waking up to my niece and nephew in my bed. We laughed and sang til the sun came up that weekend. I love them so much it kills me!!! i can go on and on about my family, but i will save that for another blog :)

So besides my injuries and fab 4th.. i did take a random last minute trip to fabulous Las Vegas! woo hoo. My girlfriend Dilek and i stayed at The Hard Rock Hotel where people walk around thinking they are the next Tommy Lee or Pam Anderson, which i really can't say i didn't pretend to be someone important as well, lol. Hey it's Vegas so anything goes...including my phone!! yep, i don't even wanna talk about it..my phone got stolen by a "heshe" at the Belaggio. It was the worst feeling in the world to have lost all my contacts and be without a phone for a week. I felt like tellin him/her.."please just give me my sim card and take the damn phone! " UGH! still makes me mad just thinkin about it. Coming back from Vegas i was more exhausted then ever, dealing with both injuries the entire time and still managing to show my pole dancing tricks off really takes a toll on a gal.

I should also tell ya i managed to sell my house since i last wrote. Yep, i will finally be moving into an apartment in the fall. Which reminds me..i better look for a place to live! ahhhhh!! I couldn't be more excited to get a small cozy little place just for me. Am i sad to be leaving my neighborhood, but excited to start yet another journey!

oh Lord, look at the time..i need to get ready to stare into my closet and se that i have nothing to wear to work, lol. Im really not exaggerating like i usually do..i need a new wardrobe, probably as much as i need a hole in my head, HA! bye bye for now!!!! muah! hugs and kisses always!!