Saturday, April 17, 2010

Finally Alone...

Good morning friends and family! the weekend is here once again, and what a beautiful Saturday morning it is. The birds are chirping outside my window right now and the sun is about to rise any minute. I'm sitting here in my bathrobe sipping on a hot cup of white tea (Asian plum flavor, yummmm). i have to say that life is good right now. i am healthy, i have a great career, beautiful family, wonderful friends, and a lovely home. A home that i live in all alone now.
i guess i should fill you all in on my latest news....my soon to be ex-husband moved out a week ago. He had gotten work out in Arizona, so he upped and decided to leave. Yep, a bit strange if you ask me. I mean we didn't even say goodbye to each other. He is a bit "pissed" at me these days so i didn't expect that we would give great big hugs and kisses, but at least a "see ya later"?!?! i mean really, 11 years of being together and that's it. i come home from work last Thursday to an empty house, and realized i might never see him again, and he didn't even say goodbye. i guess you can say we never got closure so therefore to be perfectly honest it feel like he died. i know, i know, it sounds bad to say, and believe me i DO NOT wish that upon him but i really does. Because he left some clothing behind and the plates he ate off of are still there it feels like he will be back, you know. Not that i want him to but I'm just saying that it feels weird..everything is so weird right now. i guess i just don't understand how you can be with someone for 11 years and then move to another state without even sayin goodbye. i get that he is mad, sad, maybe even scared but to not get closure can't be good for him. Maybe one day we will be able to say hey to each other and wish each other luck. i don't hate him and i am not mad...i actually feel bad for feeling SO HAPPY now. i am happy and comfortable in my own skin, and until he gets to that point i don't think he will ever say goodbye. Hopefully he will find happiness like me and love his life. Who knows maybe he is getting there after a week ( eh, i take that back, if i know him at all, then it's gonna be a while til that happens). i must say it took some big kahunas to move to another state like that. i know it couldn't have been easy to do, so i commend him for taking that risk. this just might be the best thing that can happen to him and he doesn't even know it yet. who knows, maybe instead of just saying goodbye he might actually thank me for divorcing him and making him change his life like this ( ok, ok, i guess that is a little bit if wishful thinking, but i CAN happen , lol).
Now that i got that off my chest, i will tell you this...it's great to come home now to a non-tense, quiet house. I'm going to get used to this very quickly, i think i already have! i have my music blasted right now, and i don't hear anyone in the background mocking my music selection, it's great!
yikes, look at the time, i have to get ready for work. i need to wash my hair today and stare into my closet for 20 min because i have NOTHING to wear so i better get going....no really,i have NOTHING to wear. i hope my clients today like bathrobes because that's what i honestly feel like wearing to the salon today, lol.
Have a wonderful Saturday and remember to say goodbye to people....you just never know if you will see them again.