is the game over??

Hello loves! i bet you're wondering what happened after 40 days and 40 nights, huh? Well, i gave him up..but not just for 40/40..but for good (HUGE gulp...with an added sigh following) Yep, u read correctly, your eyes aren't decieving you...My Mr. Wonderful is gone. That strength i asked God for about 2 bloggs ago, well it was granted. Geeeez, i guess the big guy up there really does listen to me. in that case, God? Hey God? ummmm, can u send Mr. Wonderful to me with open arms say tomorrow about noonish, lol..yea, if it were only that easy right? So back to that strength i got to finally let my feelings of love go.. booooooo for meeeee. Ugh, i can't even begin to tell u how hard it's been these past few weeks. I cried! yea, u got it, i actually cry every other day, and im not ashamed to tell u that i do. i am however ashamed to admit that i purposely listen to songs that i know are going to make me sad...it's the dramatic side of me, what can i say. The thing is just because i let him go physically, means absolutely nothing. He lives in my heart and in my head every day. So sure i have no physical contact (which kills, believe me...batteries are running low), but not having emotional contact is the part that makes me saddest. Honestly, it would be easier to just keep seeing him and then move on when i move away one day. This is hard, and i wonder if im the only one that fell here..i wonder what he thinks, and feels. But i might never get a straight answer. And that's just something i need to accept. I knew the rules before i played the game. I knew what the outcome would be. What i didnt know is that i would fall this hard. So, is this it? Is the game over? Or is it just halftime?? All i know is the ball is no longer in my court..i shot, made my free thro in and passed it along to him. Time to stand on the sidelines and cheer

New Moon

Good evening my fellow beauties and beasts, lol. I'm totally messin around you guys!! you all know i think everyone is beautiful ( it just sounded right to type, hehe) Ok, so I'm sitting on my balcony enjoying spring so far. Typing with my hair in my face from severe winds but i refuse to go inside because i have a sense of peacefulness out here. i also get to creep up on my neighbors chillin on their balconies, lol..they think im too busy typing but little do they know I'm a multi tasker...my mamma taught me well ;) Let me tell you what else brought me out here tonight. Ashes ands a new moon..ok i know your confused, so let me do the honors.
i was once informed by a man named Vinny, who wore a puffy shirt had flowing hair that you ususlly see on the cover of a Danielle Steel novel... umm, never mind my unnecessary description of Vinny, lets get back to what i learned from the unusually dresses man. Vinny tells me that the night of every new moon, not to be confused with a full moon, u can make wishes into the universe. See, the thing is, I'm a very superstitial person. i believe in wearing yellow panties on new years for good luck, depositing money into my back account on new years eve, and now making list of wishes that i burn on a plate and send out into the universe. you got it...no problem, i'll back it up a bit. So Vinny tells me.."Kasia, i want you to go home tonight and make a list of what you want..anything you want, write it down on a piece of paper and then at the bottom make sure you put IN MY BEST INTEREST because sometimes what you want isn't really what you should have if the universe doesn't think you will benefit from it. The universe is here to help you. So make your list and then burn it with a white candle til all you have are ashes. Then blow these ashes out your back door (in my case my balcony)these ashes then will be sent into the universe and the universe will work in your favor with your best interst in mind and grant you your desires" HA!!! sooooo guess what i did?? i went home that night, made my list burnt it and blew it out into the air....BUT it wouldn't be me if i hadn't done something wrong....oh boy...lol... Wouldn't you know it i forgot the most important part IN MY BEST INTEREST!!!!!!!!!!! geeeeez, so as usual i freaked and couldn't wait for tonight so that i can make my list again and this time not forget the most important part, lol. which brings me to my balcony, tahh dahh.
I bet you're all wondering what was on my list huh?? well a girl doesn't kiss and tell...ok maybe i do sometimes, but only to like 5 of my closest ladies. In this case i can't tell you what's on my list but i'll give you a hint...there's a boy involved, lol! oh the story of my life...the boy that stole my heart and refuses to give it back...well on my list i asked for it back, haha!
Alright Lovers and Dreamers, im out for night. time to make some bed time tea and watch the season finale of Kim and Kourtney take New York City.. Kisses and Huggs always and forever..Ka$!@ (ps. thats my new name spelling, cute huh?)'