Kasia & The City...

Sunday bloody Sunday! i never did really know what that meant, lol.. eh, the English never interested me enough to look into it anyway, hehe! soooo, how are my ladies and gents doin these days? im gonna go ahead and assume the answers are " it's summer, so im great!" or " schools out, and so are the hotties" or "im sun burnt..enough said" I'll take all those and other positive thoughts ;) I...thank u for asking, lol, am SUPER! (did i really just say super???) ok, let me rephrase myself..i'm alllll goood. i had a great day in Chi-city with a fellow blondie of mine. See, i got a couple trips comin up this month and mamma needed some cute new dresses. I mean not only do i have NOTHING to wear in my closet (so not exaggerating, like i'm guilty of at times) but i also parted with my size 0 days so really nothin fits right and i need to look cute at ALL times. Being a single girl is almost more work then being in a relationship if u ask me. i mean, whoever said love is blind was LYING! lol. i need someone to see me clearly and vise versa. And if i don't feel sexy and confident in my skin and clothes, then how can the male species that im preying on find attraction in me?!?! Anyway, back to my shopping day in the city.... Akira was a hit! my friend Jonathan hooooked it up! i got the cutest of cute dresses for some Vegas nights ahead. One of my favorites actually reminds me of a cupcake..a pretty strawberry icing vanilla cream center pink cupcake!! i gotta say, i almost look edible in it, lol! All other items...equally delicious looking ;) After my much needed retail therapy, a girl's gotta EAT, so off to the Viagra Triangle it was. Monika and i wanted to people watch so Carmine's was perfect. Today is when i sadly finally realized....im not made of sugar :( yep, i said it, i KASIA MILON (who now owns a dress that looks like strawberry cool whip frosting) is solidly at 130lbs, made of all spices and nothing else. I found this out because i never melted sitting outside on the most humid day in chicago this summer...and boy do we have brutal heat here, phew! The good thing about me not melting is that i met a cute boy sitting two tables away. Mmmmmmmmm... From the initial eye contact i knew i wasn't leaving without knowing at least a name..and maybe a social security number, plate number, blood type..ya know, the usual background check, lol..KIDDING! Needless to say this IS the first boy that made me sweat a lil since Mr. Wonderful, but that could also be cuz it was about 115 degree out with the humidity! geeeez! Mr. Cutie from Carmine's eventually made his way over for some small talk. The entire time i'm just thinking to myself..i hope i don't smell like a dirty kid that just played in the soil all day,gross, we all know that smell ain't so pretty. But then again i WAS sitting by flower pots so i coulda easily blamed it on that,lol! Mr. Cutie was adorable alright, just when i thought this city had nothing to offer each time i've been out lately..i just got proven wrong ;) ok, it's ten pm and i gotta bed and pillow that's been calling my name for a half hour now.." i hear u!! im COMING! i just gotta find some batteries!" oops too much info, LOL.. buh bye for now loves! Big kisses til we meet again in front of a computer <3 <3 <3 MUAH!!

is the game over??

Hello loves! i bet you're wondering what happened after 40 days and 40 nights, huh? Well, i gave him up..but not just for 40/40..but for good (HUGE gulp...with an added sigh following) Yep, u read correctly, your eyes aren't decieving you...My Mr. Wonderful is gone. That strength i asked God for about 2 bloggs ago, well it was granted. Geeeez, i guess the big guy up there really does listen to me. in that case, God? Hey God? ummmm, can u send Mr. Wonderful to me with open arms say tomorrow about noonish, lol..yea, if it were only that easy right? So back to that strength i got to finally let my feelings of love go.. booooooo for meeeee. Ugh, i can't even begin to tell u how hard it's been these past few weeks. I cried! yea, u got it, i actually cry every other day, and im not ashamed to tell u that i do. i am however ashamed to admit that i purposely listen to songs that i know are going to make me sad...it's the dramatic side of me, what can i say. The thing is just because i let him go physically, means absolutely nothing. He lives in my heart and in my head every day. So sure i have no physical contact (which kills, believe me...batteries are running low), but not having emotional contact is the part that makes me saddest. Honestly, it would be easier to just keep seeing him and then move on when i move away one day. This is hard, and i wonder if im the only one that fell here..i wonder what he thinks, and feels. But i might never get a straight answer. And that's just something i need to accept. I knew the rules before i played the game. I knew what the outcome would be. What i didnt know is that i would fall this hard. So, is this it? Is the game over? Or is it just halftime?? All i know is the ball is no longer in my court..i shot, made my free thro in and passed it along to him. Time to stand on the sidelines and cheer

New Moon

Good evening my fellow beauties and beasts, lol. I'm totally messin around you guys!! you all know i think everyone is beautiful ( it just sounded right to type, hehe) Ok, so I'm sitting on my balcony enjoying spring so far. Typing with my hair in my face from severe winds but i refuse to go inside because i have a sense of peacefulness out here. i also get to creep up on my neighbors chillin on their balconies, lol..they think im too busy typing but little do they know I'm a multi tasker...my mamma taught me well ;) Let me tell you what else brought me out here tonight. Ashes ands a new moon..ok i know your confused, so let me do the honors.
i was once informed by a man named Vinny, who wore a puffy shirt had flowing hair that you ususlly see on the cover of a Danielle Steel novel... umm, never mind my unnecessary description of Vinny, lets get back to what i learned from the unusually dresses man. Vinny tells me that the night of every new moon, not to be confused with a full moon, u can make wishes into the universe. See, the thing is, I'm a very superstitial person. i believe in wearing yellow panties on new years for good luck, depositing money into my back account on new years eve, and now making list of wishes that i burn on a plate and send out into the universe. you got it...no problem, i'll back it up a bit. So Vinny tells me.."Kasia, i want you to go home tonight and make a list of what you want..anything you want, write it down on a piece of paper and then at the bottom make sure you put IN MY BEST INTEREST because sometimes what you want isn't really what you should have if the universe doesn't think you will benefit from it. The universe is here to help you. So make your list and then burn it with a white candle til all you have are ashes. Then blow these ashes out your back door (in my case my balcony)these ashes then will be sent into the universe and the universe will work in your favor with your best interst in mind and grant you your desires" HA!!! sooooo guess what i did?? i went home that night, made my list burnt it and blew it out into the air....BUT it wouldn't be me if i hadn't done something wrong....oh boy...lol... Wouldn't you know it i forgot the most important part IN MY BEST INTEREST!!!!!!!!!!! geeeeez, so as usual i freaked and couldn't wait for tonight so that i can make my list again and this time not forget the most important part, lol. which brings me to my balcony, tahh dahh.
I bet you're all wondering what was on my list huh?? well a girl doesn't kiss and tell...ok maybe i do sometimes, but only to like 5 of my closest ladies. In this case i can't tell you what's on my list but i'll give you a hint...there's a boy involved, lol! oh the story of my life...the boy that stole my heart and refuses to give it back...well on my list i asked for it back, haha!
Alright Lovers and Dreamers, im out for night. time to make some bed time tea and watch the season finale of Kim and Kourtney take New York City.. Kisses and Huggs always and forever..Ka$!@ (ps. thats my new name spelling, cute huh?)'

i'm more then just an option....

hello luvs!!!! i haven't had time to write, but since im out on my ass for 3 days i thought i'd catch u up on some thoughts. Well things have been great lately for starters. I have been traveling, having fun, working a ton, and enjoying bein me :) I am exactly what a true Sagattarian is these days.. I have it all under control in life even when its really out of control, lol. I smile when things are tough, because there is no use in frowning (and it causes wrinkles)However, the one thing i have been on a rollercoaster with is my love life. Yep, that thing that i believe is the answer to happiness. Well let me tell u this, it is the answer to happiness but it sucks when u know that happiness is going to come to a heartache. So is it better to let a certain love go in order to prevent that heartache? Even if that love brings u such happiness for the time being? YES, it is... sadly i must say that i need to let my love go in order for it to come back to me. Damn it, but i dont want tooooo !!ugh, whaaaa ;( ok...now that i've pouted like a baby, i can continue to write. See, i have tried this before and it really jus doesn't work.. i have tried to date boys and kiss boys and what happens?? im right back where i started.. sucked back in to the best i have come accross thus far <3 So, then i ask myself, "who am i kidding? am i really trying to pretend that i wanna give someone else a chance when i really dont?" my answer is always no. That's when i end up right back in the arms of the one i love. But in the end thats the one that gives me a heartache, so why do i keep coming back for more? If someone fits in ur life because of a work schedule or life schedule in my case then why change em? If that person makes u happy and says all the right things to put a smile on your face, then why change em right? If that person is exactly your type and you compare all other boys to him, then why change em again?? well, here's why... because im more then just an option. Because im only cheating myself in the end. I know that..im fully entirely aware of this, i have been for years now. But let me tell you, that i didn't want to fall in love. Not with him at least, but i did and i don't regret it at all... i just wish the situation was different. Will it ever be? who knows!!! all i know is that i cant sit around and be second best. Its not who i am, so how did i let this get so complicated?! lol geeeez, i overwhelm myself i swear. The thing is, i know what i need to do and i simply dont want to do it because it hurts to much. But the hurt i will have now, is prolly waaaaaay better then what i will go thru if this continues any longer.. for it will only become more and more complicated.........
So with this in mind, i know i'm not second best. i know i'm more than just an option. yea yea yea... i know all too well what needs to happen next...so to be continued my friends....we'll see how well i do with the strength God has blessed me with. Let's start with 40 days and 40 nights for now, lol
hugs and kisses always xoxo Kas <3

IX-XXVIII

Goodmorning peeps! what's good everyone? well, for starters im gonna go ahead and answer for ya this early and say John Mayer, LOL!! i bet you didn't expect that one huh? Yea, me either, but today i have this fine gentlemen playin while i write. Can i just tell you, that if you ever have a heartache, and wanna cry for 4min and 35sec just listen to number 9 on his latest cd...GEEEEEZZZZZ!!!! ( head leaning back, water shooting out of my eyeballs, letting out my biggest harest cry bcuz i can and it will make me feel better!!!) ok...now that the song is over, im ok..i got it all under control again.... hang on, let me switch cd's here before i continue, lol.

Ah, this should be better...Alicia Keys (awesome, first track is called "Love is Blind"...really!? i can't win this mornin, lol)

So, yesterday i got another new tattoo. Before you start thinking anything...YES I'm addicted. What can i say, i LOVE em, and that's just it. They complete me, i can't explain it, and maybe some things are better left unexplained. What is it you ask? well if you take a look at the title of this blog you have the answer. Roman numerals for the date of September 28th. A date that is so significant to me it would only be fitting to brand it on me forever.

First of all, its the day my soul mate was born. Do you believe in soul mates? Do you believe in love at first sight? do you believe in chemistry? Do you believe that things happen for a reason? And most importantly, do you believe in LOVE? Well i believe in all of the above :) i used to think about who my soul mate would be, if i would ever even get a chance to feel a connection and love for someone so deep down in my soul that words won't be able to explain it....well i did, i found her...she's my sister. (goosbumps, lol) Yep, my sister-soul mate who has been right in front of me my entire life and i never saw it. I searched and searched bcuz i thought that my soul mate had to be my "future husband". But ya know what, who said that has to be the case? I believe anyone can be a soul mate and mine just so happens to be Ania. Your wondering how do i know she's MY soul mate? well, have you ever had some one that you can tell everything to? Someone that you can call your best-friend? One that has never been jealous of you...EVER?? One that only wants to see you the happiest? One that loves you so much you can feel it in your soul? One that admires even the qualities you think suck about you? One that you look up to and inspires you? One that actually senses when you think about them? One that you are not jealous of? One that you can laugh with and also cry with? One who's death you fear, bcuz if they die, a piece of yo dies with them? Well, there you have it, my answer to all of those questions is yes, and the only person i have in mind is my beautiful amazing big sis <3> i gots to go!!

Before i go, i should tell you the other significance to that month and exact date...its the day i got into a car accident that changed the rest of my life forever. God had given me a second chance at life that day, and i will never forget that for as long as i live.. Let's just say i should have died that night, but instead i actually finally started living. My life has never been the same since that night. Its been better then i could have imagined..this is a whole other blog, but i seriously have to shower!! and of course today has to be hair washing day!!!! UGH! lol

Love you all!!! im off to kashiland. xoxoxoxoxo

MILOSC

Guess who's back? Back again? uh, you might wanna reply "Slim Shady" right about now, LOL. It's me ya'll! Your favorite Chi-City gal :) As usual it's been some time since i last wrote. I believe it was still summertime. Yup, the sun was shinin, the birds were chirpin, i was still married and livin at my house....So, now its fall..the sun hides out a lot, the birds migrated, i am officially divorced and moved into an amazing apartment. woooo hoooo! its been a long road but i finally made it to the end....or should i say its just my beginning ;)
I can't even begin to tell you all the feeling that i have in me these days. Its actually amazing to feel comfortable in your own skin and in your surroundings. I knew i would feel good once the divorce was settled and once i was out of that house. But, honestly, i never thought it was gonna be this great. Believe it or not, i actually wanna come home again. People feel comfortable in my apartment and i love that. I LOVE EVERYTHING!! ok, ok, so you've heard me say that before...this LOVE thing i constantly speak of. Well, what can i say...Love is the answer to every problem. Love is my key to happiness. Love has made me become a better person. I gotta tell ya guys that something so beautiful and complicated at once has really overcome my soul, mind, an heart. I am addicted to this feeling that comes so naturally to me..i speak of LOVE of course. I should inform you that since i last wrote i got a new tattoo as well...and if you pay attention to my writing, then its easy to guess what i got branded on my body forever...yep, you got it.. and i hope it only took ya'll one guess...the answer is ( drum roll please, lol) MILOSC!!!! (which is the word LOVE in polish). Its beautiful, sexy, and sweet, an fits perfectly on my forearm. So, to tell you the truth I'm surprised i ain't not dead, cuz my mama wanted to KILL ME! hahaah. Eh, she got over it, obviously. But she did have one question for me. She says "i just don't understand why you lost your mind at almost 30 and not 18?" i cant blame her for thinkin this...but my answer to her was " at 18 i would have gotten a stupid butterfly that meant nothing to me, but now that I'm older i finally feel comfortable with my body, my mind,and my heart..so my tattoos mean more to me then anyone will understand" She still looked at me like i had a third eye, so at that point i just left it alone and didn't try to explain something she just might never understand anyway. That's my mama for ya :)
im sittin here blogging and listening to R Kelly ( his newest, and one of my fav cd's at the moment by the way) and i will tell you this. There are only 2months left of this year. A year that has changed me for the rest of my life. A year that i will never forget. what i have accomplished in one year, would have normally taken me 3. i am at total peace in my apartment, with the candles lit, and my music playin. i Love life and all that it has to offer. I thank God for my health and for the health of my loved ones. I thank all those that have been there when i needed them most. I thank my mama, and my sister (the first 2 loves of my life). I cant wait to see what this new year will bring me...Hopefully a new hubby, lol....what??? a girl can always dream, lol.
Goodnight my darlings...i will write soon, xoxoxo im off to Kashiland

the incredilbe HULK -ette

Heyyyyyy!!!! How is everyone? You don't have to answer "good" if you aren't really feeling good. Im sure when someone asks you "how are you?" the reply is always "good....and you?" I find myself being very honest these days. You all know this year has been about ME! and i love every minute of it, lol. Selfish? do you think it's selfish to love yourself above anyone? Do you think other will think you are being cocky, or stuck up? Well it's NOT wrong to be a little selfish. Most women (especially moms) don't know how to be selfish. They exhaust themselves by putting every ones needs before theirs leaving no room for themselves at the end of the day. This eventually leads to problems in a marriage, arguments with friends or children, problems at the workplace...and so on. More women need to realize if they are not truly happy and "good" with themselves then they will not be able to make others happy around them. They will live exhausted, sad, frustrated lives. Focus on yourself and only yourself in order to fill the life around you with joy ;)
so how am i today? well, i thought u'd never ask, lol...I am NOT fine, I'm crabby,i would probably fight someone and all they would have to do is look at me the wrong way, and kinda feel like i can snap the drop of a pin, cry and the snap of a finger, and laugh it all off 5 minutes later...sounds crazy, i know. I have actually thought about it over and over before i just typed that to see if it even makes sense! I mean seriously you guys, what is my problem?? OH i know, I'm going to go ahead and blame it all on my hormones!! ugh, we as women have to go through torture and become someone else right around that "time of the month". Geez,it really baffles me how i can become someone else and almost have no control of it at the moment..am i right? please tell me this happens to some of you as well!?!? I mean, i should really just be locked up for the next 3 days , so i don't make irrational decisions, run someone over with my car, eat everything in sight, and cry for no reason. It's not fair that we have to battle these feelings once a month for the next, oh, i dunno, 75 years!? ok so maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration. But you know as well as i do that you feel like you will be having a period for the rest of your life. So does this mean that once a month i will turn into the Incredible HULK-ette? haha! (i have to make myself sound as cute as i can be while turning into a green monster). The thing is you guys..i am VERY aware of my actions, and so i have a new plan...I am going to change things around. My experiment is to fight back with my hormones. Yep, im going to beat my hormones at their own game. its mind over matter in the end of things. Because there is no way i will let myself turn into a Green Giant, all because i cant get a grip on myself. i am tough, smart, happy and love life. so there is no reason that my hormones should get the best of me and mess with my mind like that. i mean, it seriously is unlike me to want to harm someone and overreact, and get all emotional for no reason. so who's with me ladies? Don't let your mind or emotions control you. Sit back and take a breather, realize what you are saying and doing at all times. Don't act a fool and don't become the HULK-ette,because it can get you in trouble :) so let me try this again...How am i doing yo ask? well now that i know i am not crazy,and have complete control of my thoughts and actions, im gonna be ok i think..as long as these next 2 days pass quickly, ha!

good night ya'll....im off to bed before i start contemplating bad thoughts about people that pissed me off today...yikes, did i just say that!? haha, Go to bed Kas ;) tomorrow i will wake up refreshed and ready for another adventure in Kashiland