Pinky Sparkles...

Gooooood evening guys and dolls! It's been a minute since I've blogged...clearly I've had writers block for the past 7 months!! Lol geeeeez! I say this to my clients daily, but I seriously can't believe it's OCTOBER!?!?!? I mean the last time I blogged it was March and I told ya'll about my salon, Kismet Beauty Lounge, which has been my baby this year. I'll tell u this, it's been the busiest year of my young life so far. The blessings that I've been given from God have been unreal! I mean seriously UNREAL! Thank you to God and everyone who helped me get to where I am today are not even enough words to describe my gratitude. I've learned so much this year that my brain actually hurts lol. I've loved so much that I ooze hearts and I've sparkled to the point where I truly think glitter runs thru my veins!! Laughter and Love is my addiction....and let's not forget working out of course, lol ;) Anyway, let me fill you in on my most recent trip to Puerto Rico I went on about 2 weeks ago. It was a very last minute (like I mean we booked it a week before departure) decision because I was going to be in Miami for a hair show, so it only made sense to grab the killer deal and make use of timing when it's there ya know!? I'll tell you this, I have the BEST friend in the WORLD!! My Dilek! My partner in crime. My soul identical friend. My fellow coquette...the BRAINS behind the operation. I say this all the time...I'd be lost without her. Not only because I have no sense of direction, but because she has the best ideas and I help execute them! We are truly Pinky and the Brain, lol.. So now here we are in San Juan *shaking my head in disbelief that I'm actually here* and what's the first thing I notice?!? Everyone smiles!! Lol I finally found a place where everyone is like me! The thing is, Dilek always tells me to stop smiling so much because I gets me in trouble, lol....she's right tho, she's absolutely right! I been like this my whole life, I smile even when I'm sad, and I laugh when I'm nervous so I actually can't help it. However, there are then some peeps who get the wrong idea just because I throw a smile their way. Which is when my bestie then tells me to quit it lol.. So now can u imagine how awesome it was to be in a place where all people do IS smile!? My dream land...next to Miami of course. I mean how could anyone be sad when the weather itself can put a smile to your face! It was 92 and humid and I was in love (with more then just the climate If you know what I mean lol). I'm pretty sure D and I were the only 2 blondes on the island, and I didn't hate that! So you can imagine my sparkle stood out like no other lol.. For 3 beautiful days all we did was laugh, drink champagne, laugh....laugh some more, and soaked in as much vitamin D as we could before heading back to the Windy City. As the saying goes that "laughter is the best medicine" I can honestly say that those are words that will be engraved on my tombstone one day. It's the truest statement there is. I'm a workaholic, and there are things that stress me out in my life. And when I laugh, everything goes away! My heart smiles, if u can imagine that! Lol. Laughter might not cure a disease, but it cures everything else, I swear by it! I love life and can't imagine going thru it unhappy, so I choose not to, even tho there are things that make me sad (which I'm gonna save for another blog) I believe in living to the fullest, and I did that in Puerto Rico this year. I thank God for my adventures and I continue to live the only way I know how.....IN LOVE Well I think I'm about to call it a night...between the light of the iPad screen, my romantically lit cradles and Ne-Yo playing in the background my eye lids are gonna need toothpicks to be held up soon! Lol..cheers to sweet dreams and realities! Muuuuaahhh!!!

Kismet Beauty Lounge

"All for the love of beauty" is what i answer when someone asks me why i do what i do for a living. My name is Kasia and i am a WORKAHOLIC, lol.. ok so maybe u don't find that as funny as i do but it's the actual truth! And if im correct the first step in AA is accepting the truth and to not live in denial. So there it is... after years of close research and foot pain from working 12 hour days i have finally been open,honest and admitted the fact that i am married to my career! Now do you understand why i got divorced 2 years ago???!!! LOL. ok all jokes aside ( but remember there's always truth in everything someone says) now that i admit i choose my career over my relationships let me begin to explain why....
I've been at Enve Salon for over ten years now. I get ready for work everyday and think to myself "i wonder if i'll ever feel what some of those other people feel?" I hear people talk about how much they hate going to work, how they have the case of the "mondays" ,and how they can't wait for the weekend because they don't have to go into work. I feel bad for people like that. well i know the answer.. it's been the same for almost 12 years..the answer is NO. The thing is, when you love what you do, you'll never work a day in your life. Now don't get me wrong, i'm not saying that what i do is easy...it is still "work" and therefore because i work hard i play hard too ;) We all need to find time to relax so that we don't let work consume us. As with everything in life...it's all about balance.
I choose what makes me happy every morning. I want to get the most out of the one life we are blessed with. So this brings me to what i wanna introduce next. Dreams, wishes, wants, desires are all possible if you work hard and never give up. i gave up once tho and thought i wanted what i chose to be the "normal" life like most people. That normal life made me 50% happy not 100%.. so i decided to make changes and get back to focus on what i knew and loved... my life in the beauty industry. I went back to working 70 hours a week, flying by the seat of my pants, traveling more, sleeping less, meeting new amazing people at hair shows (where i felt like i was FINALLY normal, because i was with other crazies just like me!, lol). Since the day i started at my first salon i dreamt that one day o would own my own...and well....*big gulp* I DO!!! Phew! that was more heart dropping then when i said "i do" on my wedding day, LOL LOL!!
I don't know if u knew this or if you read my blog about my 30th. Well for years now i've always been excited to turn 30 because i felt like something BIG was gonna happen. I used to think i'll get married, or have my first baby, or buy a house...but never did i think my dream of owning a salon would be IT! I learned throughout the years that if you work hard and follow your heart...your dreams actually do come true <3
so, i'll leave on that note for now (mainly because i'm gonna be late if i don't stop typing right now,lol) When my client leaves i always say to them "to be continued..." Til next blog my dreamers and believers.. Mad Love always and forever!! Dream Big and Work Hard!
P.S... The salon is called Kismet Beauty Lounge....cute huh?? lol ;)

Happy New Year Baby!!

And just like that it's a brand new year. LOOOOOOOOVE!!! That's right ya'll it's freakin 2012! The year of the dragon! Hmmmm, when i hear the word dragon i automatically get a sense of fear. When coming face to face with the big fiery reptile you almost don't know if it'll attack or be gentle. Im sure we all remember Puff the Magic dragon?! LOL. Soooooo unpredictable...just like this new year will be ;)....
Now let me start from last night...New Years Eve...
Unpredictable is exactly what my year has already started out like. All I'm gonna say is at the age of 30 (drum roll please..) i egged someones house.LOL, YES!! u read it correctly, don't go back and re-read..i promise. I..Kasia Milon threw eggs at a house on new years eve, hahahhahaha!!! sorry, please excuse my outburst of laughter, but when i think about it...i cant even believe it myself still! lol. BUT, before you wanna judge and tell me i got karma comin back to me..let me at least explain myself.
So NYE was spent with my best friend. Nothin really crazy was planned for the night. She had a few family members over, and all we wanted to do was drink some good champagne and eat good food and share great laughs. Basically that's exactly how the night had started at 9pm. I think NYE should always be spent with the people you love (before i go on, let it be known there's still one person i would have traded even my fav champagne for to be with that night....we wont talk about that this blog tho lol) and i love my bestie, my beautiful blonde bombshell!! Now, if i remember correctly she was about to pop open a 6th bottle of champagne (cuz that's always a great idea *insert sarcasm*) and the drama of the night had officially started. A quick lil review of the drama I'm talkin about.. my girl has nieces that she basically treated as lil sisters her whole life and that night true colors were shown. So, as we sat there texting, responding to fb posts, tweeting, drinking, and eating.. there was a comment thrown out by one of her nieces that was pretty much the string that broke the camels back!! I'll tell u this..in ten years i have never seen my best friend this upset, this hurt, this betrayed. Now if there's one thing i can't handle (and i can handle almost ANYTHING) it's seeing pain in someone i love. All it took was one tear down her face and when she decided to do something that was gonna make her feel better even if just for a minute u better believe i was gonna stand by her side. And this my friends leads to my statement above.... i egged someones house, wtf?!?!?! i mean how many 30 and 40 year old women do u know that have pulled a stunt like that?! lol.. was it wrong? yea, it probably was. Do i regret it? oh HELL NO! as a matter of fact i'd do it all over again for her in a heart beat. We didn't hurt anyone, we didn't ask anyone to be involved, and we felt great with every shot! hey, if i got karma comin my way for my actions then i deserve it. But i'll tell you this. That night my best friend was hurting and i would have done anything to help her for how much she's done for me thru our years of friendship. Ya know, when i think about it, that girl and i have done some CRAZY CRAZY shenanigans!!!! ...and i wouldn't change a thing til now ;)
So let 2012 unfold loves! Fire! Drama! Yikes! in the end stay beautiful and stay smiling... a new chapter in my book begins today xoxoxoxo

Guilt...ugh

LOOOOVES!!! well hello there!! I finally had some free time to write to you on this lovely Sunday night. It's a special night, a night of rememberance actually....it's Sept 11th. I'll tell you what...ask me what i did last Thursday? Ummmmmm, if i think really hard then i might scramble pieces of the day or peices of that week and hope i'm getting the events in the right order, or even the right people that were involved in my life that day, hmmmm...anyway, now that i just took a 5 min break from typing because i actually just tried thinking of what i did do and who i saw last Thursday and STILL dont know , geez LOL!?!?!! my whole point is,i can't remember 7 days ago,but if u ask me what i did September 11th 2001 i can tell u hour to hour probably even minute to minute of that devastating day in America. So, tonight i decided to blog because its a day of reflection.
The last time i wrote i believe i mentioned a boy i met while on a Sunday lunch date with my girlfriend..well,to make a long story short, i realized i was just in heat that day. In this case im not reffering to me sitting in the boiling sun on a humid summer day in Chicago...i mean i was in heat like a dog that hasnt been nutered!!! ya'll get what im sayin?? LOL. i was basically interested in him for the wrong reasons...hey, dont judge, we've all been there at least once in our life (maybe i've been there more then once, but enough about me,back to my story, lol!) Poor guy still texts after 2 months, can u believe that?! I returned his texts simply because i felt guilty not... but when i think about it, what the hell do i feel guilty for anyway?!??? NOTHING that's what. I don't let guilt control my life anymore. I used to, and it only delayed my future. Guilt is a mother F$#%@R i tell ya! i truly believe that people make wrong decisions because of a guilty conscience. For example... some guys will have a girl that they aren't 100% happy with so they decide to find happiness elsewhere but never let go of what they have at home. Why? well that lil bit of guilt sets in when they think about how much their girl has put up with thru the years and years and will put up with because she "loves him" (please if she ONLY knew..she'd probably quickly "unlove him" if she was smart...but hey what do i know!) So, that guilt of his dishonesty to her takes over when he has to look at while she says to him "baby, i just love u and i'm just so happy to be together, and i cant wait to marry you and have babies, and a house, and grow old together, and....blahm blah blah. You get what im sayin?? He now feels so guilty that he can't break up with her!!(even though he cheats on her because he's unhappy in some aspect of their relationship) i mean how can he break her heart like that when she's got hearts in her eyes for him along with a checklist obviously, lol. This poor guy will now let the years add on with his darling, and get comfortable living a shady life, as long as he doesn't have to face the guilt and be the bad guy that breaks her heart and makes her cry. F that!!!! please, that'll be the day where i let guilt control my life! Let me tell ya this much...if im guilty of something im gonna own up to it. I'll ask the person to prove it with evidence of course (i mean hell, i don't wanna go down without a fight, lol) But i will not live a life of guilt from my actions that most likely made me happy as hell when i acted on em..just sayin, lol. Look, we all made poor choices in life,i get that. The thing i don't get is why some people stay in a situation that isn't fair to both parties in the long run. The guilt of your actions shouldn't be the deciding factor of staying in a stale relationship. Be fair to yourself, the person you're with and even the kids that are at times involved.
I'll share this with ya. If my momma would have let the guilt of deciding to divorce my dad in Poland, break up a family, and move her daughters and herself to America where she was going to have to start all over with the unknown...i wouldnt be sitting here writing to you now. I'm sure she felt guilty thinking we'd never know our father the way most kids do. But instead of living on that guilt, she moved forward taking life day by day..doing what made her happy, which then led us to happy lives. If you don't make yourself happy, you can't make those around you happy.
I've done some things im not proud of, but i won't sit here and dwell on them or feel guilty. I learn and move on...and sometimes i dont move on when i should because my stubborn ass won't wanna learn my lesson yet ( at that point i deserve what's comin to me!lol) Everything is easier said then done, i know i know. All im gonna say is that it's not impossible. Do what makes you happy, truly happy and i'll be happy for you. Im signing out my loves, good night and good luck with this thing we call life. Y'all know my answer to everything is LOVE! Stay beautiful and smiling!!!
xoxox ME

Kasia & The City...

Sunday bloody Sunday! i never did really know what that meant, lol.. eh, the English never interested me enough to look into it anyway, hehe! soooo, how are my ladies and gents doin these days? im gonna go ahead and assume the answers are " it's summer, so im great!" or " schools out, and so are the hotties" or "im sun burnt..enough said" I'll take all those and other positive thoughts ;) I...thank u for asking, lol, am SUPER! (did i really just say super???) ok, let me rephrase myself..i'm alllll goood. i had a great day in Chi-city with a fellow blondie of mine. See, i got a couple trips comin up this month and mamma needed some cute new dresses. I mean not only do i have NOTHING to wear in my closet (so not exaggerating, like i'm guilty of at times) but i also parted with my size 0 days so really nothin fits right and i need to look cute at ALL times. Being a single girl is almost more work then being in a relationship if u ask me. i mean, whoever said love is blind was LYING! lol. i need someone to see me clearly and vise versa. And if i don't feel sexy and confident in my skin and clothes, then how can the male species that im preying on find attraction in me?!?! Anyway, back to my shopping day in the city.... Akira was a hit! my friend Jonathan hooooked it up! i got the cutest of cute dresses for some Vegas nights ahead. One of my favorites actually reminds me of a cupcake..a pretty strawberry icing vanilla cream center pink cupcake!! i gotta say, i almost look edible in it, lol! All other items...equally delicious looking ;) After my much needed retail therapy, a girl's gotta EAT, so off to the Viagra Triangle it was. Monika and i wanted to people watch so Carmine's was perfect. Today is when i sadly finally realized....im not made of sugar :( yep, i said it, i KASIA MILON (who now owns a dress that looks like strawberry cool whip frosting) is solidly at 130lbs, made of all spices and nothing else. I found this out because i never melted sitting outside on the most humid day in chicago this summer...and boy do we have brutal heat here, phew! The good thing about me not melting is that i met a cute boy sitting two tables away. Mmmmmmmmm... From the initial eye contact i knew i wasn't leaving without knowing at least a name..and maybe a social security number, plate number, blood type..ya know, the usual background check, lol..KIDDING! Needless to say this IS the first boy that made me sweat a lil since Mr. Wonderful, but that could also be cuz it was about 115 degree out with the humidity! geeeez! Mr. Cutie from Carmine's eventually made his way over for some small talk. The entire time i'm just thinking to myself..i hope i don't smell like a dirty kid that just played in the soil all day,gross, we all know that smell ain't so pretty. But then again i WAS sitting by flower pots so i coulda easily blamed it on that,lol! Mr. Cutie was adorable alright, just when i thought this city had nothing to offer each time i've been out lately..i just got proven wrong ;) ok, it's ten pm and i gotta bed and pillow that's been calling my name for a half hour now.." i hear u!! im COMING! i just gotta find some batteries!" oops too much info, LOL.. buh bye for now loves! Big kisses til we meet again in front of a computer <3 <3 <3 MUAH!!

is the game over??

Hello loves! i bet you're wondering what happened after 40 days and 40 nights, huh? Well, i gave him up..but not just for 40/40..but for good (HUGE gulp...with an added sigh following) Yep, u read correctly, your eyes aren't decieving you...My Mr. Wonderful is gone. That strength i asked God for about 2 bloggs ago, well it was granted. Geeeez, i guess the big guy up there really does listen to me. in that case, God? Hey God? ummmm, can u send Mr. Wonderful to me with open arms say tomorrow about noonish, lol..yea, if it were only that easy right? So back to that strength i got to finally let my feelings of love go.. booooooo for meeeee. Ugh, i can't even begin to tell u how hard it's been these past few weeks. I cried! yea, u got it, i actually cry every other day, and im not ashamed to tell u that i do. i am however ashamed to admit that i purposely listen to songs that i know are going to make me sad...it's the dramatic side of me, what can i say. The thing is just because i let him go physically, means absolutely nothing. He lives in my heart and in my head every day. So sure i have no physical contact (which kills, believe me...batteries are running low), but not having emotional contact is the part that makes me saddest. Honestly, it would be easier to just keep seeing him and then move on when i move away one day. This is hard, and i wonder if im the only one that fell here..i wonder what he thinks, and feels. But i might never get a straight answer. And that's just something i need to accept. I knew the rules before i played the game. I knew what the outcome would be. What i didnt know is that i would fall this hard. So, is this it? Is the game over? Or is it just halftime?? All i know is the ball is no longer in my court..i shot, made my free thro in and passed it along to him. Time to stand on the sidelines and cheer

New Moon

Good evening my fellow beauties and beasts, lol. I'm totally messin around you guys!! you all know i think everyone is beautiful ( it just sounded right to type, hehe) Ok, so I'm sitting on my balcony enjoying spring so far. Typing with my hair in my face from severe winds but i refuse to go inside because i have a sense of peacefulness out here. i also get to creep up on my neighbors chillin on their balconies, lol..they think im too busy typing but little do they know I'm a multi tasker...my mamma taught me well ;) Let me tell you what else brought me out here tonight. Ashes ands a new moon..ok i know your confused, so let me do the honors.
i was once informed by a man named Vinny, who wore a puffy shirt had flowing hair that you ususlly see on the cover of a Danielle Steel novel... umm, never mind my unnecessary description of Vinny, lets get back to what i learned from the unusually dresses man. Vinny tells me that the night of every new moon, not to be confused with a full moon, u can make wishes into the universe. See, the thing is, I'm a very superstitial person. i believe in wearing yellow panties on new years for good luck, depositing money into my back account on new years eve, and now making list of wishes that i burn on a plate and send out into the universe. you got it...no problem, i'll back it up a bit. So Vinny tells me.."Kasia, i want you to go home tonight and make a list of what you want..anything you want, write it down on a piece of paper and then at the bottom make sure you put IN MY BEST INTEREST because sometimes what you want isn't really what you should have if the universe doesn't think you will benefit from it. The universe is here to help you. So make your list and then burn it with a white candle til all you have are ashes. Then blow these ashes out your back door (in my case my balcony)these ashes then will be sent into the universe and the universe will work in your favor with your best interst in mind and grant you your desires" HA!!! sooooo guess what i did?? i went home that night, made my list burnt it and blew it out into the air....BUT it wouldn't be me if i hadn't done something wrong....oh boy...lol... Wouldn't you know it i forgot the most important part IN MY BEST INTEREST!!!!!!!!!!! geeeeez, so as usual i freaked and couldn't wait for tonight so that i can make my list again and this time not forget the most important part, lol. which brings me to my balcony, tahh dahh.
I bet you're all wondering what was on my list huh?? well a girl doesn't kiss and tell...ok maybe i do sometimes, but only to like 5 of my closest ladies. In this case i can't tell you what's on my list but i'll give you a hint...there's a boy involved, lol! oh the story of my life...the boy that stole my heart and refuses to give it back...well on my list i asked for it back, haha!
Alright Lovers and Dreamers, im out for night. time to make some bed time tea and watch the season finale of Kim and Kourtney take New York City.. Kisses and Huggs always and forever..Ka$!@ (ps. thats my new name spelling, cute huh?)'

i'm more then just an option....

hello luvs!!!! i haven't had time to write, but since im out on my ass for 3 days i thought i'd catch u up on some thoughts. Well things have been great lately for starters. I have been traveling, having fun, working a ton, and enjoying bein me :) I am exactly what a true Sagattarian is these days.. I have it all under control in life even when its really out of control, lol. I smile when things are tough, because there is no use in frowning (and it causes wrinkles)However, the one thing i have been on a rollercoaster with is my love life. Yep, that thing that i believe is the answer to happiness. Well let me tell u this, it is the answer to happiness but it sucks when u know that happiness is going to come to a heartache. So is it better to let a certain love go in order to prevent that heartache? Even if that love brings u such happiness for the time being? YES, it is... sadly i must say that i need to let my love go in order for it to come back to me. Damn it, but i dont want tooooo !!ugh, whaaaa ;( ok...now that i've pouted like a baby, i can continue to write. See, i have tried this before and it really jus doesn't work.. i have tried to date boys and kiss boys and what happens?? im right back where i started.. sucked back in to the best i have come accross thus far <3 So, then i ask myself, "who am i kidding? am i really trying to pretend that i wanna give someone else a chance when i really dont?" my answer is always no. That's when i end up right back in the arms of the one i love. But in the end thats the one that gives me a heartache, so why do i keep coming back for more? If someone fits in ur life because of a work schedule or life schedule in my case then why change em? If that person makes u happy and says all the right things to put a smile on your face, then why change em right? If that person is exactly your type and you compare all other boys to him, then why change em again?? well, here's why... because im more then just an option. Because im only cheating myself in the end. I know that..im fully entirely aware of this, i have been for years now. But let me tell you, that i didn't want to fall in love. Not with him at least, but i did and i don't regret it at all... i just wish the situation was different. Will it ever be? who knows!!! all i know is that i cant sit around and be second best. Its not who i am, so how did i let this get so complicated?! lol geeeez, i overwhelm myself i swear. The thing is, i know what i need to do and i simply dont want to do it because it hurts to much. But the hurt i will have now, is prolly waaaaaay better then what i will go thru if this continues any longer.. for it will only become more and more complicated.........
So with this in mind, i know i'm not second best. i know i'm more than just an option. yea yea yea... i know all too well what needs to happen next...so to be continued my friends....we'll see how well i do with the strength God has blessed me with. Let's start with 40 days and 40 nights for now, lol
hugs and kisses always xoxo Kas <3

IX-XXVIII

Goodmorning peeps! what's good everyone? well, for starters im gonna go ahead and answer for ya this early and say John Mayer, LOL!! i bet you didn't expect that one huh? Yea, me either, but today i have this fine gentlemen playin while i write. Can i just tell you, that if you ever have a heartache, and wanna cry for 4min and 35sec just listen to number 9 on his latest cd...GEEEEEZZZZZ!!!! ( head leaning back, water shooting out of my eyeballs, letting out my biggest harest cry bcuz i can and it will make me feel better!!!) ok...now that the song is over, im ok..i got it all under control again.... hang on, let me switch cd's here before i continue, lol.

Ah, this should be better...Alicia Keys (awesome, first track is called "Love is Blind"...really!? i can't win this mornin, lol)

So, yesterday i got another new tattoo. Before you start thinking anything...YES I'm addicted. What can i say, i LOVE em, and that's just it. They complete me, i can't explain it, and maybe some things are better left unexplained. What is it you ask? well if you take a look at the title of this blog you have the answer. Roman numerals for the date of September 28th. A date that is so significant to me it would only be fitting to brand it on me forever.

First of all, its the day my soul mate was born. Do you believe in soul mates? Do you believe in love at first sight? do you believe in chemistry? Do you believe that things happen for a reason? And most importantly, do you believe in LOVE? Well i believe in all of the above :) i used to think about who my soul mate would be, if i would ever even get a chance to feel a connection and love for someone so deep down in my soul that words won't be able to explain it....well i did, i found her...she's my sister. (goosbumps, lol) Yep, my sister-soul mate who has been right in front of me my entire life and i never saw it. I searched and searched bcuz i thought that my soul mate had to be my "future husband". But ya know what, who said that has to be the case? I believe anyone can be a soul mate and mine just so happens to be Ania. Your wondering how do i know she's MY soul mate? well, have you ever had some one that you can tell everything to? Someone that you can call your best-friend? One that has never been jealous of you...EVER?? One that only wants to see you the happiest? One that loves you so much you can feel it in your soul? One that admires even the qualities you think suck about you? One that you look up to and inspires you? One that actually senses when you think about them? One that you are not jealous of? One that you can laugh with and also cry with? One who's death you fear, bcuz if they die, a piece of yo dies with them? Well, there you have it, my answer to all of those questions is yes, and the only person i have in mind is my beautiful amazing big sis <3> i gots to go!!

Before i go, i should tell you the other significance to that month and exact date...its the day i got into a car accident that changed the rest of my life forever. God had given me a second chance at life that day, and i will never forget that for as long as i live.. Let's just say i should have died that night, but instead i actually finally started living. My life has never been the same since that night. Its been better then i could have imagined..this is a whole other blog, but i seriously have to shower!! and of course today has to be hair washing day!!!! UGH! lol

Love you all!!! im off to kashiland. xoxoxoxoxo

MILOSC

Guess who's back? Back again? uh, you might wanna reply "Slim Shady" right about now, LOL. It's me ya'll! Your favorite Chi-City gal :) As usual it's been some time since i last wrote. I believe it was still summertime. Yup, the sun was shinin, the birds were chirpin, i was still married and livin at my house....So, now its fall..the sun hides out a lot, the birds migrated, i am officially divorced and moved into an amazing apartment. woooo hoooo! its been a long road but i finally made it to the end....or should i say its just my beginning ;)
I can't even begin to tell you all the feeling that i have in me these days. Its actually amazing to feel comfortable in your own skin and in your surroundings. I knew i would feel good once the divorce was settled and once i was out of that house. But, honestly, i never thought it was gonna be this great. Believe it or not, i actually wanna come home again. People feel comfortable in my apartment and i love that. I LOVE EVERYTHING!! ok, ok, so you've heard me say that before...this LOVE thing i constantly speak of. Well, what can i say...Love is the answer to every problem. Love is my key to happiness. Love has made me become a better person. I gotta tell ya guys that something so beautiful and complicated at once has really overcome my soul, mind, an heart. I am addicted to this feeling that comes so naturally to me..i speak of LOVE of course. I should inform you that since i last wrote i got a new tattoo as well...and if you pay attention to my writing, then its easy to guess what i got branded on my body forever...yep, you got it.. and i hope it only took ya'll one guess...the answer is ( drum roll please, lol) MILOSC!!!! (which is the word LOVE in polish). Its beautiful, sexy, and sweet, an fits perfectly on my forearm. So, to tell you the truth I'm surprised i ain't not dead, cuz my mama wanted to KILL ME! hahaah. Eh, she got over it, obviously. But she did have one question for me. She says "i just don't understand why you lost your mind at almost 30 and not 18?" i cant blame her for thinkin this...but my answer to her was " at 18 i would have gotten a stupid butterfly that meant nothing to me, but now that I'm older i finally feel comfortable with my body, my mind,and my heart..so my tattoos mean more to me then anyone will understand" She still looked at me like i had a third eye, so at that point i just left it alone and didn't try to explain something she just might never understand anyway. That's my mama for ya :)
im sittin here blogging and listening to R Kelly ( his newest, and one of my fav cd's at the moment by the way) and i will tell you this. There are only 2months left of this year. A year that has changed me for the rest of my life. A year that i will never forget. what i have accomplished in one year, would have normally taken me 3. i am at total peace in my apartment, with the candles lit, and my music playin. i Love life and all that it has to offer. I thank God for my health and for the health of my loved ones. I thank all those that have been there when i needed them most. I thank my mama, and my sister (the first 2 loves of my life). I cant wait to see what this new year will bring me...Hopefully a new hubby, lol....what??? a girl can always dream, lol.
Goodnight my darlings...i will write soon, xoxoxo im off to Kashiland

the incredilbe HULK -ette

Heyyyyyy!!!! How is everyone? You don't have to answer "good" if you aren't really feeling good. Im sure when someone asks you "how are you?" the reply is always "good....and you?" I find myself being very honest these days. You all know this year has been about ME! and i love every minute of it, lol. Selfish? do you think it's selfish to love yourself above anyone? Do you think other will think you are being cocky, or stuck up? Well it's NOT wrong to be a little selfish. Most women (especially moms) don't know how to be selfish. They exhaust themselves by putting every ones needs before theirs leaving no room for themselves at the end of the day. This eventually leads to problems in a marriage, arguments with friends or children, problems at the workplace...and so on. More women need to realize if they are not truly happy and "good" with themselves then they will not be able to make others happy around them. They will live exhausted, sad, frustrated lives. Focus on yourself and only yourself in order to fill the life around you with joy ;)
so how am i today? well, i thought u'd never ask, lol...I am NOT fine, I'm crabby,i would probably fight someone and all they would have to do is look at me the wrong way, and kinda feel like i can snap the drop of a pin, cry and the snap of a finger, and laugh it all off 5 minutes later...sounds crazy, i know. I have actually thought about it over and over before i just typed that to see if it even makes sense! I mean seriously you guys, what is my problem?? OH i know, I'm going to go ahead and blame it all on my hormones!! ugh, we as women have to go through torture and become someone else right around that "time of the month". Geez,it really baffles me how i can become someone else and almost have no control of it at the moment..am i right? please tell me this happens to some of you as well!?!? I mean, i should really just be locked up for the next 3 days , so i don't make irrational decisions, run someone over with my car, eat everything in sight, and cry for no reason. It's not fair that we have to battle these feelings once a month for the next, oh, i dunno, 75 years!? ok so maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration. But you know as well as i do that you feel like you will be having a period for the rest of your life. So does this mean that once a month i will turn into the Incredible HULK-ette? haha! (i have to make myself sound as cute as i can be while turning into a green monster). The thing is you guys..i am VERY aware of my actions, and so i have a new plan...I am going to change things around. My experiment is to fight back with my hormones. Yep, im going to beat my hormones at their own game. its mind over matter in the end of things. Because there is no way i will let myself turn into a Green Giant, all because i cant get a grip on myself. i am tough, smart, happy and love life. so there is no reason that my hormones should get the best of me and mess with my mind like that. i mean, it seriously is unlike me to want to harm someone and overreact, and get all emotional for no reason. so who's with me ladies? Don't let your mind or emotions control you. Sit back and take a breather, realize what you are saying and doing at all times. Don't act a fool and don't become the HULK-ette,because it can get you in trouble :) so let me try this again...How am i doing yo ask? well now that i know i am not crazy,and have complete control of my thoughts and actions, im gonna be ok i think..as long as these next 2 days pass quickly, ha!

good night ya'll....im off to bed before i start contemplating bad thoughts about people that pissed me off today...yikes, did i just say that!? haha, Go to bed Kas ;) tomorrow i will wake up refreshed and ready for another adventure in Kashiland

Somethins' gotta give....

I'm baaaacccckkkk!! hahaha.. What's good everybody?!?! How are ya'll doin these days? It's been a fantastic summer and it's a bummer that in a month we will be welcoming fall. Can you believe how the time passes us by? I mean i watch people in my chair get older (not to mention greyer, lol..thank God or i'd be out of a job) and my niece and nephew grow into amazing little beings; but to be honest i don't feel like i age. I am going to be 29 years old in 4 months and i don't feel a day over 25. If anything this year should have really aged me but it made me feel younger then ever. It has been the BEST and HARDEST year at the exact same time. I couldn't be happier with the outcome of that. I have accomplished more this year so far then i ever have, i have learned more about myself and LOVE who i am, I am proud to say that i can do anything if i put my mind to it.

So since i last blogged i guess i need to fill ya in on my busy little life. Well, i came back from Minnesota in June from a real live Princess Party limping because i strained my hip flexor muscle the week before running and my fastest speed yet! I out ran my girlfriend and workout partner in crime Amanda on out 1 mile treadmill run by more then min easily. Therefore resulting in a hip injury for the next two months that got so bad i actually cried getting out of bed in the mornings. Did that stop me from my daily routine you ask? HA! hell no! i was at work for my usual 10-12 hour days and at the gym doing everything but running (barely even walking at times, yikes!) My 2month slow recovery of stretches and painful massages finally got me to to my first attempt at running 2 days ago. I can't begin to tell you the mental torture i was going through because of my injury resulting in me not being able to run and clear my head. So as if that wasn't enough i manages to get a 2nd degree freezer burn on my left shin which got infected because i was too stubborn and busy to go see a doctor. Yep, you heard that correctly, i froze my leg with an ice pack. I mean really, who the hell manages to do somethin like that?!? Yours truly ;) so after being on 12 days of antibiotics and dealing with a scar the size of Texas (there goes my modeling career, LOL) i sprained my ankle from falling in my wedge shoes and am now dealing with that. I really don't understand how i got so prone to injuries all of a sudden, but they ARE all self inflicted so i can't blame anyone but me. Geez!! i exhaust myself sometimes!!

I have to tell you that i had the BEST 4th of July EVER! My sister, the kids and Ryan a.k.a "swam" spent 3 nights at my house and we had a blast. It was the first time my house felt like a home ;) I have told ya before and i will forever say it again. My sister is the best sister i could have been blessed with. I loved waking up to my niece and nephew in my bed. We laughed and sang til the sun came up that weekend. I love them so much it kills me!!! i can go on and on about my family, but i will save that for another blog :)

So besides my injuries and fab 4th.. i did take a random last minute trip to fabulous Las Vegas! woo hoo. My girlfriend Dilek and i stayed at The Hard Rock Hotel where people walk around thinking they are the next Tommy Lee or Pam Anderson, which i really can't say i didn't pretend to be someone important as well, lol. Hey it's Vegas so anything goes...including my phone!! yep, i don't even wanna talk about it..my phone got stolen by a "heshe" at the Belaggio. It was the worst feeling in the world to have lost all my contacts and be without a phone for a week. I felt like tellin him/her.."please just give me my sim card and take the damn phone! " UGH! still makes me mad just thinkin about it. Coming back from Vegas i was more exhausted then ever, dealing with both injuries the entire time and still managing to show my pole dancing tricks off really takes a toll on a gal.

I should also tell ya i managed to sell my house since i last wrote. Yep, i will finally be moving into an apartment in the fall. Which reminds me..i better look for a place to live! ahhhhh!! I couldn't be more excited to get a small cozy little place just for me. Am i sad to be leaving my neighborhood, but excited to start yet another journey!

oh Lord, look at the time..i need to get ready to stare into my closet and se that i have nothing to wear to work, lol. Im really not exaggerating like i usually do..i need a new wardrobe, probably as much as i need a hole in my head, HA! bye bye for now!!!! muah! hugs and kisses always!!

Meatballs

Well well, good evening ya'll.. i know ,i know it's been a while since i have written. What can i say, i have been a busy little bee! One wouldn't think that a single girl could be so busy right? well, let me tell ya that my life now is more hectic then ever! If you wanna know where to find me it's easy..the salon and the gym is where i spend my whole day. But you know i have to find time for play as well, lol. So my Saturday nights are booked weeks ahead. For some reason when you are single people just invite you to more events. It's like they feel bad for you, or think that because you are single you will have time for everything. So therefore, plans get made and before i know it i have my next three weekends booked with people to see and things to do!!
I recently took a trip up to good ol' Minnesota to see the fam of course. the trip was as amazing as ever. There was a big group of us this time. My girlfriend Gabby, my 3 cousins, and my parents all went to celebrate my baby girls 4th bday! My niece Nadia and nephew Paul are some of the most amazing kiddies i have ever met..(and im not just saying that because they are mine, lol) I thought i would get a chance to catch up on some sleep i don't get back home, but really, who the hell am i kidding? haha, I mean how can there be sleep when i have the best family and friends a girl can ask for. From going to uptown Minnie, to sittin around the campfire with my brother-in-law playin his guitar, to me and my beautiful amazing sister catching up on some MUCH NEEDED girl talk....who has time for sleep?!?!
So besides my travels..let me fill you in on my social life back home. Being single, it's time to start getting out there and meeting men..ugh (totally dreading this whole thing) I go out with my girlfriends not to meet men but to just have fun. At the same time though i do keep my options open..seeing how the ones you usually want are unavailable i have to keep an eye out, lol. So whats out there you ask? ha! well..i have one word "meatballs". You all know what a meatball is right? If not then let me fill you in a bit. The description would be a dude that is built ( sometimes they can look like the Michelin man, where they cant even put there arms down because the lat muscle is too big and puffy) I don't think it's attractive at all, but believe it or not this is who gets attracted to me. Is it because i look like i work out?Eh, perhaps that could be the reason, but let me tell ya, they are douchbags!! I mean if they think that their bicep muscle which is bigger then my head impresses me more then their conversation, boy do they need to get their head out of their asses, lol! It's like the more steroids they pump the more brain cells they loose. UGH! HELP!

gotta love my girl talk

so today was a fantastic day!! it all started with my first cup of coffee over at my neighbor Joanne's. I saw Jo gardening at 7am, an decided she could use a break, lol. You gotta love my neighborhood because i swear i don't know where else i can chill in my pj's with my hair in a rats nest and one of my already squinty eyes half way open... other then this hood, lol. Jo and i must have sat there for almost 2 hours just chatting away about "relationships". A topic a woman can talk about for hours at a time. A topic that we might never really have complete answers to. The only thing we know for sure about relationships is that they are HARD work! As i sat there on Jo's patio sippin my coffee chatting away with the sun beating on my skin so early in the morning already,i knew it was going to be a good day. After my awesome chat i had to get back home and wait for my cable guy to come....yes, again (damn tv). i got to clean, shower, and do laundry all before "Phil" the cable guy finally showed up! geez they really take advantage of that lat minute. when they say they will come between the hours of 9 and noon..they don't lie, cuz 11:50 is between 9 and noon i guess. Well, Phil fixed what needed fixin and was out before 1, just in time because i needed to get on the road!! I didn't mention that today i was headed to Antioch, IL to see my cousin Liz!! The sun was going to be out and it was a perfect opportunity to go to the lake house. Liz and i talk daily, but we haven't had a chance to really sit down with no interruptions and just talk. So there we were, in our bikini's out on the boat dock looking out into the beautiful water with the sun beating on us, talking away about what u ask??? yep RELATIONSHIPS! hahah. the never ending topic i swear! i loved being out there by the water. It's relaxing and i find peace and comfort with not a worry on my mind ( and belive me i have many worries these days, lol). i think everyone should have a place to go to escape reality for a bit. It might not have to be all the way on a dock on the middle of water, it can easily be in your own backyard. Grab your girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, or whomever you have to share some good laughs with, and go somewhere for some theraputic chitchat. i tell ya what, i talked enough today for the next two days, haha. goodnight ya'll!! xoxo

it will all be ok, it has to be

everything will be ok, it has to be. At least this is what i tell myself daily. Love stinks! ok, i take that back, lol. Love hurts is more like it. So my 19 year old cousin recently ended an engagement with her boyfriend of 4 years i believe. It's hard, very hard for her right now, but in the end she will be great and happy again. I have had my heart broken many times now, so i can relate to her. However, there is nothing anyone can do to make it better. Sharing my love experiences with her and being there for her is all i can do for that broken heart at the moment. Why is it that love is the best and sometimes the worst thing? its great to be in love isn't it? i mean NOTHING else matters when you are in love with someone. There could be a house on fire and you wouldn't see it because you are blinded by love. It is the greatest most unexplainable feeling left on earth. The high you get from it is worth millions. I can live in a cardboard box under a bridge as long as the man i love is there with me. Am i right or am i right? lol. Now, on the other hand, when love doesn't go your way it hurts BADDDDD. I remember my first heartbreak, i thought my life was over. My world felt empty and came crashing down. This is what my baby cousin is feelin right now. And you know what heals a broken heart?? TIME, my friends, time.... I have been in love a lot in my almost 29 years of life on this earth. Each time a new love came along i thought OMG! Not this again, do i even dare going down this path again?? But each time i did..why? because of that awesome feeling, that "cloud 9" feeling. Each time i fell love it was different though. Each time it just keeps getting better. Like wine that gets better with age..so does LOVE. Im older and wiser now and have a true understanding for Love. Tania (my cuz) will see that her best love is yet to come. She is still in love with her ex, and will be for quite some time. But, i wish i could put her in a time machine to show her that she will be in love again..with someone better!

i can touch base on this subject for hours.. but for now i have to get ready for another awesome day at the salon (the other love of my life; my job) I realize i just need to stay married to my job. I love it, and it loves me back..very reliable i would say, lol.

Tania, if you are reading this i just have one thing to say to you. You are beautiful, awesome, outgoing, fun, smart, hardworking, and very lovable. You don't even know what this life still holds for you. Your world is about to change for the better. If you think life has been good so far, you have no idea how much greater it can be. Remember my darling cousin, that at the end of the day all you have to take care of is YOURSELF. YOU, that's it. God only gave us one of you and we want you to be the best you can be. You know what you need to do for yourself and your journey has already begun. I'm so proud of you for being so strong. Hang in there, and don't give up on love. I never did.Even with all i have been through so far. Keep on smiling. Keep on laughing. Keep on LOVING, because just like me, it comes naturally to you. It's ok to love even when you get hurt. As long as you learn from it.

i love everything right now!

it's 6am and here i am blogging and eating my bowl of Greek yogurt with flax seed, blackberries, and a sprinkle of granola. yummmm, it's funny but i actually look forward to my little breakfast, lol. i can't even begin to tell you how much i LOVE living alone!! i mean i really never thought i would be this cool with it. I can walk around my house in my underwear or in nothing at all, haha.... It's such a free feeling that i have a smile on my face at all times, even though no one is here to see it. i always liked "alone" time growing up.I like quiet time to myself, and i think it's important to everyone to have such time. We all need at least 15 min a day of pure silence. it's meditation at it's best. That 15 min will seem like an eternity, i swear! go ahead, try it. it's actually very hard to do (meditate that is) Turn off all sounds around you, light a candle, close your eyes, and just BE... don't think, don't dream, don't fantasize. JUST BREATH. it's not easy to not think about something, our mind is constantly wondering. So true meditation is a actually very hard to accomplish, but when you do get there, you will see that you will be on peace with yourself, and nothing can stand in your way.
I am finally at peace with myself(but i haven't gotten the meditation thing 100% just yet, lol) Ii am the most comfortable in my skin now at the age of 28, then i have ever been before. I love who i am and what i have in life. I love my family and friends. I love my career. I just love everything right now!

Finally Alone...

Good morning friends and family! the weekend is here once again, and what a beautiful Saturday morning it is. The birds are chirping outside my window right now and the sun is about to rise any minute. I'm sitting here in my bathrobe sipping on a hot cup of white tea (Asian plum flavor, yummmm). i have to say that life is good right now. i am healthy, i have a great career, beautiful family, wonderful friends, and a lovely home. A home that i live in all alone now.
i guess i should fill you all in on my latest news....my soon to be ex-husband moved out a week ago. He had gotten work out in Arizona, so he upped and decided to leave. Yep, a bit strange if you ask me. I mean we didn't even say goodbye to each other. He is a bit "pissed" at me these days so i didn't expect that we would give great big hugs and kisses, but at least a "see ya later"?!?! i mean really, 11 years of being together and that's it. i come home from work last Thursday to an empty house, and realized i might never see him again, and he didn't even say goodbye. i guess you can say we never got closure so therefore to be perfectly honest it feel like he died. i know, i know, it sounds bad to say, and believe me i DO NOT wish that upon him but i really does. Because he left some clothing behind and the plates he ate off of are still there it feels like he will be back, you know. Not that i want him to but I'm just saying that it feels weird..everything is so weird right now. i guess i just don't understand how you can be with someone for 11 years and then move to another state without even sayin goodbye. i get that he is mad, sad, maybe even scared but to not get closure can't be good for him. Maybe one day we will be able to say hey to each other and wish each other luck. i don't hate him and i am not mad...i actually feel bad for feeling SO HAPPY now. i am happy and comfortable in my own skin, and until he gets to that point i don't think he will ever say goodbye. Hopefully he will find happiness like me and love his life. Who knows maybe he is getting there after a week ( eh, i take that back, if i know him at all, then it's gonna be a while til that happens). i must say it took some big kahunas to move to another state like that. i know it couldn't have been easy to do, so i commend him for taking that risk. this just might be the best thing that can happen to him and he doesn't even know it yet. who knows, maybe instead of just saying goodbye he might actually thank me for divorcing him and making him change his life like this ( ok, ok, i guess that is a little bit if wishful thinking, but i CAN happen , lol).
Now that i got that off my chest, i will tell you this...it's great to come home now to a non-tense, quiet house. I'm going to get used to this very quickly, i think i already have! i have my music blasted right now, and i don't hear anyone in the background mocking my music selection, it's great!
yikes, look at the time, i have to get ready for work. i need to wash my hair today and stare into my closet for 20 min because i have NOTHING to wear so i better get going....no really,i have NOTHING to wear. i hope my clients today like bathrobes because that's what i honestly feel like wearing to the salon today, lol.
Have a wonderful Saturday and remember to say goodbye to people....you just never know if you will see them again.

Guilty!

Yes....i sure am guilty. Guilty for being happy!!! It's been a while since my last blog because i haven't had access to a computer at home. Being that my "roommate" decided to sell mine without even offering me the option to buy :( sooooo not happy. BUT, where there is a will there is a way! So here i am back at it. Now back to what i was saying...oh yes, my happiness, Haha! i can't help but smile all day long even though I'm going through a super tough time right now. I can't even begin to tell you the amount of stress i carry daily (but don't we all????) When i think about what i am dealing with right now and compare it to, hmmm.....lets say a cancer patient or an abused woman or an unloved abandoned child. I say to myself.."listen here chick, you ain't got it that bad, so stop your cryin!" lol. i mean seriously, if i let the stress in my life get the best of me while others are really suffering out there, then shame on me damn it! Let me share to you an inspirational story about a client of mine named Susan. She is a beautiful woman who lives with a disability, has beat cancer, raised a strong son and daughter, is happily married and loves everything! i wish you could all meet her because she is just a ray of sunshine (with fabulous hair might i add, lol). Every 7 weeks when i get to see Susan i remind her how much she inspires me to love life and give gratitude for what you have daily. Susan zooms around in a motorized wheelchair and yet still drives a car, not relying on anyone for help. Knowing that everyone would help her she still tries to accomplish it all on her own. Her health has been a battle in her life yet it has never stopped her from smiling. She is one of the most positive people i have ever come across. i love the energy she exudes and i inspire to give out that same energy. My positive thinking has gotten me through my stressful time right now. And on days that are more overwhelming then others i just think of Susan, and all that she has been through and it quickly makes my life seem like a piece of cake :)

So yes, I'm happy even though some people think i should be mopey and sad. Because guess what, i love myself too much to let my life pass me by without joy. The way i see it is that we all have problems and stress and i know that it can be hard to get up some days and put a smile on your face. But do it for the simple reason that you have been given yet another day on this earth, smile because you are alive and healthy, the rest will fall into place. I tell myself every morning out loud that today is gonna be a great day (and for the majority, it turns out to be that way for me) Happiness is the key!

ok, i have to get off this computer....til i get my hands on another, i wish you all a great day! remember smiling is contagious, and it takes more effort to frown then smile :)

8k run....Shamrock Shuffle

My day started this morning with an 8k run in the windy city of Chicago. This was actually my friend Amanda's idea and since i like to run regularly i thought why not...sign me up! here in Chi city you never know what the weather will be. Everyone knows the weatherman is wrong 90% of the time, so when they were calling for snow i wasn't holding em to it. Amanda however prepared full force and bought out the entire Under Armour store, lol (well close to it, she was dressed in it from head to toe). I did go and get myself a pair of gloves from there because i had an incident back in January where i got frost bite during my morning run...so needless to say it was time i invest in a solid pair of winter running gloves. As we drove into the city and sat in traffic on Michigan Ave, Amanda kept sayin "i can't believe we are doing this, it's so cold out!" "Kas, what if i don't make it?".."I'm so nervous, i haven't ran 5 miles since December!" The poor thing was freakin out( she is the cutest damn chick too) i reassured her she would be fine, and that i wouldn't leave her behind, EVER. So we got in line at the 10 min mile mark...There must have been thousands of people. This is however the biggest 8k in the world ya know :) As i look around at everyone i start to wonder why are they here? Do they really just love to run? Are they running in remembrance of a lost loved one? Was this something on their "bucket list"? Do they love St. Patty's Day that much and run so they can get that free beer at the finish line (no joke ya'll..there was beer at the finish line, am i the only one that thinks this is bizarre??, lol) There were people of all ages, amazing really. At one point Amanda looked over at a man who must have been 80 somethin and said to me "ok, if he can run this then i think i will be ok. lol" I have been in an organized walk before for breast cancer and mother's day but this was my first run. So here we go....all lined up and ready to go! Music..check, chewing gum..check, gloves and hat..check, shoes tied..check, lol. Thankfully it was not snowing nor raining, just cold. Eventually you warm up after the first mile so really it's no biggie as long as it's dry in the sky. As 'im running, weaving between people, checkin on AB to make sure i see her pretty face next to me, i notice one thing...there sure are a LOT of different asses out there (hahah! i mean peoples rear ends of course) So many shapes and sizes, from big to small, firm to a little jiggly, heart shaped to tear drop shaped, uplifted to saggy, wide to narrow( ok, ok, you get the point) I mean really though, i had nothing else to stare at for the next 45 minutes, so i just couldn't' help but truly examine what's out there in this world. Then i started to wonder what does my ass look like to the dude behind me right now? of course I'm hoping he thinks it's tight, bubbly and just plain old cute ;) lol. So everything was going great til my shoe lace came undone at the 4mile mark. However, i was NOT about to stop to tie it now with only a mile left. Heck no, i kept my happy feet shufflin all the way to the finish line. We ended up crossing at46min40sec. Not bad, but that just gives me a new goal for next time. So i cannot begin to tell you how happy my girl AB was that she finished in such good time, without stoppin or slowing down. I was excited as well, but to tell you the truth, my happiness came from seeing that smile of achievement on her face. I always feel as good as Amanda did when i run weekly. But today was different. Because i ran with so many different people, who all ran for their own personal cause. It felt like we were all connected. Like we were all there for the same reason. Achievement!! I swear there is nothing like that rewarding feeling that makes you so happy you can't stop smiling :) Amanda's happiness made me happier, and everyones support on the side lines made me feel important. So whatever the reason all of us thousands of people decided to run 5 miles today, it was an overall empowering experience, and i can't wait to do it again! ( so , the funniest thing is that once you complete a run you just wanna sign up for another one without thinking twice, which could be trouble seeing how the next few runs of the year are longer and longer distances, yikes! good thing i didn't jump to any forms just yet, hahah)
So i leave you with this...next year if you are not busy the weekend after St. Patty's Day come join me for a quick 5mile run through the fascinating city of Chicago. Wheather it will be on the side lines cheering me on, or next to me dressed in Under Armour attire. I promise you that the feeling you will get is so positive that it will stay with you forever. Don't ever doubt yourself until you try. Don't give up without a fight. The sence of accomplishment is something that can't be taken away from you. And it helps make you a stronger person! live well, and RUN!!!

The show must go on....

It's been a while since i have blogged any thoughts to you all...and that is solely because i have sooooooo much on my mind that i don't even know where to begin! My life is a bit of a roller coaster these days. I'm 28 years old and i am about to start round two of the fabulous life of Kasia. It ain't over til the fat lady sings ya'll, haha.
Did you ever think you had it all planned out? Well i did, until a curve ball came my way January 1st 2010. People change, so just when you think you know someone and trust someone.... be very careful. Two and a half years ago i never would have imagined i would be sitting here blogging, with a For Sale sign in my front yard, in an almost empty beautiful single family house. i was sure this would be where i would start a family. I could have given you names of children that i imagined would sleep in the two smaller rooms next to the master bedroom. I have a deck so big that it can hold two patio sets and two grills and still have room for a chase i can lay on to get a tan on those hot summer days. I have a walk in closet and a bathroom that connects right to my room (if you have ever lived in a small Chicago apartment, you know this is a big deal, lol). My oak staircase that i decorate in lights and garland at Christmas time is what i have always dreamed i would have one day in a home. Yep...my house made me happy very happy actually.... but relationship did not. My marriage fell apart after two and a half years. Things like this aren't planned or expected. How quickly things change is still unbelievable to me. i am learning a lot while i go through this divorce. Learning about myself and about the person i though i was going to have a life with here in this home. I am growing stronger everyday from all of this chaos. Because as the saying goes...WHAT DOESN'T KILL YOU ONLY MAKES YOU STRONGER. I have no room for fear in my life right now. For fear is only a sign of weakness. I am not weak nor will i let anyone make me think that i am anymore. As i start to empty out of my life all negative people, i will only leave room for the positive and optimistic ones. I have realized that this house is not my home, and therefore i am ready to say goodbye. I have not gone this far in life just to have someone think that i will now fail. this just gives me the ammunition to succeed even more. I now have higher goals then i ever had. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be happy and that's the road I'm headed for. I don't care if i end up in a one bedroom basement apartment for a while when this house sells..because at least i know i am doing it on my own. I will survive this and end up on top no matter what!! I have the best support system anyone can ask for. I have my health and i have the strength from God to keep going. This is so far one of the hardest things i have ever had to go through.....But it's just a bump in my road of life ( well more like a mountain really, lol) My mother always taught me to be independent..and i have her to thank for my success thus far. She s my angel and she doesn't even realize it.
If you have ever thought that you had it all figured out and then things didn't go your way, or plans got destroyed... don't be discouraged. Just think of it as another opportunity. Another chance to show what you are made of. Some people don't get second chances in life and some don't bother trying to make a change with the life they have.Well not me, I'm not about to give up now. I will not settle and watch my life just pass me by (cuz we all know it goes by too fast) So if you are unhappy and feel like you are worth more, then make it happen. Only you have the power to make that change happen.
I will leave you with words of encouragement because that is what i live by. Positive attitudes get positive results. Put a smile on your face and you will feel better. Give someone a compliment and you will see that you will get one back. Believe that it will be ok..and it WILL be ok!
Well, it's late and i need my beauty rest. The gym is calling my name at 6am tomorrow. So goodnight for now and always remember "The show must go on.."